Has someone found the way in?

Congratulations, whoever you are. Seems like you have found the key, but do pay heed that the key is not a state of permanence. It is merely a fleeting form. Given your intellect, I have confidence you shall figure it out if need be.

Of course, I must admit I am quite surprised, and pleased.

I safely assume that you hail from Singapore too?

It's been too long that I have almost forgotten about this space. Unfortunately, it seems that I am only reminded of it's existence when there is a need to run. Often, I find myself running in circles too.

Rationale thought never fails to flee my mind when it is most required. Of course, if it was there to salvage the situation, one would not be lamenting about the lack of it in the first place.

That is a very interesting human paradox, no?

In short, I did something that I am sure to regret. All's said and done, I'm alive, she's alive. Who cares about hurt?

To tell the truth, I do.

So what, if I am eternally smiling? Surely, it would occur to question the source of this apparent "strength".

After all, humans beings are thought to interpret their emotions. The only problem is that it works on an assumption that every emotion is universal. That is a highly debatable point, for who is to say what I feel is identical to what you feel when we are happy, sad or angry.

That is why it is very hard to trust our emotions.

But that is precisely reason why we should trust them and not rationalize emotions. They exist because they are part of the human physique. Their existence cannot be denied. By saying that I meant that we shall not deceive ourselves, saying that we did not just experience a particular emotion, for example, lust. It is a whole different thing to acknowledged that you lusted. The lust and say you did not and to lust and say you shall not. That is the fine line, but nonetheless, a very concrete distinguishing mark.

More often than not we are afraid to make that admission to begin with. Fear, a self-defence mechanism that becomes a hindrance. It is hard to overcome fear. It is deeply etched in the mind.

Just like how I fear the consequences, and her. That must be removed gradually.

Till then, the postmen shall still deliver, and before they resume their work, I shall concluded this correspondence here.